In seach of the monster..
The longest Arrow Trip journey ever....a brain-aching 460 miles. We drove overnight in the usual hire car .. though the brakes actually worked on this one.. and arrived in rainy Inverness at around 0900. First off was a trip to McCo-Op for provisions.. 30 litres of booze and a loaf of bread. John was saddled with the bill of £101. The paramedics said it was only a minor heart attack, and he was OK to continue the journey.
Fact Panel
Details
Trip Date:
June 1995
Transport:
Vauxhall Calavier
Accommodation:
Cabin Cruiser
Duration:
Five Days
Cost of Trip Per Person:
£300
Video:
Sony TR-800 Hi8 Video Camera
Rating:
Good
Members Attending
Loch Ness Trivia
County
Highland
Population:
1
Known For:
Monster, Castle, Canal, Hydro-electric Stations.
Where is Loch Ness?
Day One: Saturday
Took over the boat at about 14:00. It was a 33 foot Birchwood called Sea Chalice, but Ostentatious Bastard would be more appropriate. A quick lesson from the Caley Cruisers staff (subtitled "how to cause the maximum damage) and we where off. With both engines at full revs and employing the afterburner (Stuart Bestwick) we could get a blistering 7 MPH out of it. (albeit a very stylish and ostentatious 7 MPH). Loch Ness is huge....25 miles long and several wide...you just can't take it all in. We entered the Loch with a group of about 20 other boats...within 15 minutes they had disappeared, swallowed by the distance. Its 750 foot deep and its deepest measured section, but even military dipping sonars couldn't get a return on some parts, so maybe there is SOMETHING ELSE down there…
The scenery was most excellent with plenty of opportunity to shoot footage of landscape and water scenes.. Shame about Nessie putting in a no show though. The first night was spent in a raft of boats beneath Urquart Castle. Local pubs fell into two categories a) Tourist and very expensive b) full of locals fingering knives and sticks and speaking Scottish. Much fun climbing back over all the other boats and making a racket later that night. For some reason they avoided us thereafterCannot understand why that should be...
Day Two: Sunday
Resplendent in Day-Glo lifejackets we hastened over to Foyer Waterfall. Visited the hotel and deposited an interesting variety of mud all over their posh conservatory in return for some tea and cakes. After this, despite the boundless possibilities inherent in a boat full of beer and whiskey, John and Mark insisted on going walking to a nearby waterfall !! Stuart and myself did the sensible thing back at the boat.
It has to be said that though the scenery is stunning, it is not overburdened with pubs, and it took another 6 hours at warp drive to reach the next outpost of civilisation: Fort Augustus. Dazed and overwhelmed by the sudden choice (three pubs and a chippie), we panicked and went into beer mode. The police where very understanding and agreed not to press charges.
Day Three: Monday
Next morning dawned overcast and damp. Actually, so did all the mornings. Scenery, yes. Interesting weather, yes. Glorious sunshine....no...try Spain instead.
After the obligatory 'pratting around in a small rubber dingy' sketch for the benefit of the camera, it was time to go through Fort Augustus Locks. There are five of them in a 'staircase', and it takes about two hours to get through.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but surely the point of splashing out £700 on a luxurious floating Gin Palace is that you have an engine to get you everywhere...But NO...we had to get out and PULL the boat through the locks by walking along the bank with a long bit of rope. It was like taking a large and particularly truculent dog for a walk.
After this it was warp drive down to Lock Oich, Laggan Avenue and down to Loch Lochy, ending up at Letterfinley Lodge hotel. Again, between Fort August Lock and Letterfinlay Lodge ( only 12 miles, but 4-5 hours steaming time) there was almost NO civilisation. The only respite was a floating pub ( an old converted pleasure cruiser). A pub on a boat... is this an accident waiting to happen or what?
Day Four: Tuesday
The morning dawned with serious hangovers (a tribute to the hospitality and fine whiskeys of Letterfinley). A quick trip to the south end of the Loch and it was time to turn around and come back again.
We made it through Fort Augustus and moored back at the dear old Foyers Hotel. Once more Mark 'action man' Swinson and John 'Green Beret' Tomkiss decided to paddle up Foyers Falls river, video camera in hand, DESPITE the fact that there was still plenty of beer and whiskey on the boat. Once more it was up to Stuart and Nic to do the sensible thing.
An intemperate quantity of beer was consumed in the Hotel that night, and ended up in a raucous discussion with a party of French businessmen. They couldn't speak English, and our French was limited to asking them to name ten famous Belgians very loudly. After 30 minutes of this, we where kicked out by the Landlord...another Arrow Trip first.
Day Five: Wednesday
And that is about it...we plodded back to the boatyard the next day, crossing Loch ness and travelling down the Caledonian Canal back to Inverness. On the way we shoot some more footage and did a few pieces to camera summing up our epic journey. Older, more hungover, and definitely no wiser, acquiring our nicknames along the way;
Captain Nic 'Manwaring' Wright on account of his panicking as we were about to hit a lock wall or some other obstacle;
Stuart 'Lard' Bestwick a name picked up whilst shooting a spoof commercial for Lard;
Mark 'Action Man' Swinson for his derring-do scaling jetties and tortuous paths to waterfalls, and finally...
John 'Green Beret' Tomkiss a man known for his calmness in the face of impending disasters.
So there you have it. With plenty of video footage taken and to be edited we liked this holiday and the boat. In fact we got the taste for boating so much that next year saw us hire an enormous behemoth on the River Thames with tales of smashed flagpoles, run-ins with various lockkeepers and other calamities.
