Introduction
Below are interesting details, some tonque in cheek, regarding each member of the team.
Chris
Highest Alcohol Intake:
1988 St Columb Minor. Doesn’t like more than 2 pints of blood into his alcohol stream.
Nicknames:
Clarky, Bald One, Excitable Arrow
Height:
Slightly above his hairline.
Weight:
Trying to fight back against the flab, and failing miserably. Borderline moobs.
Favourite Films:
The Great Escape, The Colditz Story, Hairspray.
Favourite Food:
Lasagne on Tuesdays, see fridge for the rest of the week. Doesn’t like anything foreign sounding, though recently converted to Boursin cheese instead of cheddar.
Hobbies:
Building gliders from toilet rolls and sticky back plastic. Cataloging his collection of pointy ended sleeping bags. Anything to do with Eurovision. Absolutely not in a gay way though. Not at all. No.
Unusual Facts:
Can break wind on Q. In fact on any letter. Piloted his home made glider from his bathroom window, to the wasteland (sorry, Meadow) at the back of his house. Invents words to make himself sound intelligent, like ediface. Meaning to look like Eddie Jordan.
Best Arrow moment:
Once won the Roy Orbison and Mike Johnson look-a-like competitions in the same year (1992). Was worried about Marks recent gift from his girlfriend "Are you going to take that £4.99 leather jacket off"?
John
Highest Alcohol Intake:
1998, St Ives. Never drops below 3 pints of generic lager in his bloodstream.
Nicknames:
Sausage Fingers, The One at the Back, 70's Man, Monchrome Man, Gravy Spice, Short Arms.
Height:
Depends on whether you are counting the straggly bits on top
Weight:
52kg (Whilst holding on to the bathroom sink). His BMI (Big Munter Index) is now creeping into severe as his 2πR measurement increases. Weight doubles when hes carrying his wallet.
Favourite Films:
Chariots of Fire, Marathon Man, St Trinians, Scrooged.
Favourite Food:
Anything as long as it is Walterable. The contents of a hoover bag.
Hobbies:
Swapping jobs. Not opening his wallet. Running (away from having to pay for anything) Sending his dogs out with a runkeeper tracker strapped to them.
Unusual Facts:
Has never visited a cash dispenser unaided. Has been said to have feet like 'Frodo'. Avoids saying anything original if he can use a quote instead. Was brought up by Apaches, which is why he calls everyone 'Chief". Is "trained to fall". Never being afraid to ask the question "Are we nearly there yet?". Most likely to heard saying "How much?!"
Mark
Highest Alcohol Intake:
2008, Malaga. Particularly fond of Lemonhart Rum, then having a nice lie down in a snow drift.
Nicknames:
Bone, Tubs, Belsen, Gaylord, Mr Mark. Bow'n Arrow
Height:
7' at the apex of his trajectory dropping to 10 inches on the grass. 5'10" if standing but this is rare.
Weight:
Fluctuates between an inmate at Belsen, and Robbie Coltranes fatter brother. Currently somewhere in between the two.
Favourite Films:
Crash, The Sound of Music, The Backyardigans.
Favourite Food:
All of them, mixed up in a big bucket. Likes to employ the snatch technique whilst eating.
Hobbies:
Motorcycle aerobics, spotting American tourists, gardening at an obtuse angle. Transmitters, Power Stations, Anything to do with Belvoir, but not Beaver. Ships and all aspects of them.
Unusual Facts:
Has a birthmark shaped like Borneo on his stomach, and a large mole on his thigh….a tame one. Reckons he can find the end of a mobius loop. Wrote the book "Transmitters what I have seen." A thumping good read.
Best Arrow moment:
Damming most of the lake District whilst dressed as the cowboy from The Village People. Having climbed the rocky outcrop we have a good view out to sea. Mark turns to Mike "Ooh look you can see Lundy quite visibly". Mike…….silence for about 3 seconds before Mark follows on with "oh yeah.."(Mic is visually impaired)
Matt
Highest Alcohol Intake:
1996, Thames. Broke the world record for cheeseburgers to pints ratio.
Nicknames:
Big Lad, Chubby Lad, Spendasaurus Rex, Sir-Cumference, Baby Arrow.
Height:
6'3 (in any direction)
Weight:
"One hundred and something." See Arrow 1998.
Favourite Films:
Spendaholics, Inspector Gadget, Airplane!
Favourite Food:
Food and anything vaguely classified as food. Mixed grills without the salad. A Card of Cheeslets washed down with 10 Whiskeys. Ham salad without the salad. A Side of Onion Rings.
Hobbies:
Spending money on electronic devices, then selling them on Ebay two days later. Saving up for his own wind farm. His christmas decorations can be seen from Venus.
Unusual Facts:
Credited with inventing the Spunker. Once had the economic stability of Greece. Moved to New Zealand when it was his turn to buy a round. Matt is a direct descendant of Henry Mabutt, the 19th Century explorer. In 2009 he rose to be the 4th best quad biker in Portugal.
Best Arrow moment:
Once Beat someone to death with their own shoe. Caused a water shortage in Plymouth when he blocked a drainage duct with his own body causing a 3 foot deep river dam behind him. "Thanks for the loan of your Beemer, I left it in 3 carrier bags in the hall" Did he really say that??
Mic
Highest Alcohol Intake:
Malaga, 2008. Unmeasurable by any of his fellows as they are usually under the table by then.
Nicknames:
The Fit One, Chef, Bell Rope Johnson, Tripod, Donkey Spice, Vic, Blonde Arrow
Height:
Just a bit lower than God. Without the halo he's about the same as the others
Weight:
The lightest Arrow member and never in with a chance of a podium unless hes carrying a refridgerator onto the scales. Generally, chiseled Adonis.
Favourite Films:
Bruce Almighty, Blind Fury, Moby Dick.
Favourite Food:
Loaves and Fishes. Likes to get a 'toy' with his meal.
Hobbies:
Testing the spin cycle of static caravans. Praying, breaking wind, praying whilst breaking wind. Likes to quote "poetry" or, as the rest of us call it, limericks.
Unusual Facts:
Likes wearing a collar and brandishing a white whip. Is actually a man of the cloth. Can get a bit amoureous towards other arrow members after hes had 1 drink. Navigates using sonar.
Best Arrow moment:
Whilst playing the serious part of a stonemason during a cave tour, the group were asked if there was anyone called Wendy. A voice from the pack piped up "Only at the weekends". A comment that afforded him the attentions of a particularly goofy woman! Winning the Mike Johnson look-a-like competition 11 years out of 20.
Nic
Highest Alcohol Intake:
Loch Ness, 1995. A prostigous consumer of house whisky. Once got totalled in the Coach & Horses only to rescued by the landlady's mothers front cushions.
Nicknames:
Wrighty, The Man from the BBC, the brainy one, Mr Yellow shirt.
Height:
A bit smaller than the others. Rarely Stands upright (see alcohol comments)
Weight:
Depends on whether he's holding a microwave oven. Was given a minor placing on the Scillies light aircraft run.
Favourite Films:
The Right Stuff, I'm Alright Jack, Right Yaa Wrong.
Favourite Food:
A lightly tenderised lettuce leaf with a stick of cucumber….aaah just kidding. It’s a cup of tea.
Hobbies:
Arguing that he's right.Leaves his clothes at the last destination so likes to refresh his wardrobe regularly. Gives free (and unsolicited) advice on any electronic device.
Unusual Facts:
Is custodian of a full set of admiralty charts. Fair to say that he favours a lemon shirt always to be accompanied by braces.
Best Arrow moment:
Once emptied his own ashtray. Organised the Wimbledon outside broadcast team from a mobile phone in Margate. Walked across a swamp and fell in up to his nipples but managed to keep his cigarette alight throughout.
Nick
Highest Alcohol Intake:
Malaga, 2008. Baileys all the way for this man. Tends to order drinks in twos to gain a better discount (and saves walking to the bar).
Nicknames:
Who? Oh him.., Botex Arrow, Left of Centre, Mark's boyfriend.
Height:
The pile of the mane would make any measurement as accurate as a builders estimate.
Weight:
Fluctuates after 5 a side match. Kilo-wise rumoured to be in the 60's but that might be his wardrobe.
Favourite Films:
Anything old or anything from his own collection of 5000 videos (of himself).
Favourite Food:
Likes a snack on your round. Whatever he can afford after blowing the household budget on Technical gadgetry and archive tooling
Hobbies:
Driving around Leicestershire with his mate. A big fan of Beaver..sorry, Belvoir. Collects second-hand car parts. An expert in photocopying.
Unusual Facts:
There's only one photo available of him so uses Chromakey to change the background location. Once had a different haircut.
Best Arrow moment:
Turning up for one on a freeby.
Stuart
Highest Alcohol Intake:
1990, Tenby. Once had 2 and a half in the Blacks Head (including one for the road). Expect the soapbox to make an appearance at anything over 2.
Nicknames:
TheTall One, Jeremy Clarkson, The Moaner, The Ranter, Posh Arrow.
Height:
6'4 ish without his high heels. Nobody else is tall enough to see whether he's going bald. A hazard to aircraft.
Weight:
Steadily increasing commensurate with age. Has gone beyond the upper limit of the bathroom scales. Last weighbridge estimate 90kg.
Favourite Films:
Anything with him in it, The Tall Guy, Black Narcissus, Downton Abbey (thinks it’s a documentary), The Dumping Ground.
Favourite Food:
Anything that’s sounds expensive, served by one of his staff. Thinks he knows about wine, but makes it up as he goes along.
Hobbies:
Too few to mention. Indeed his possesions wouldn’t overflow a shoebox. Something of a history bore. His one sporting "achievement" was to rise like a phoenix during a 5-a-side game. We haven't stopped hearing about it. Is world class at doing nothing. Ranting a speciality.
Unusual Facts:
He has only been on a bus once. He survives with just 3 butlers. Was the original model for the first talking Action Man with eagle eyes (see pic). The one with the realistic hair and limited vocabulary. Is an expert on effluence, most of which comes out of his mouth. He once lived on a council estate. Stuart is a direct descendant of Charles Hendrickson the 19th Century explorer.
Best Arrow moment:
Whilst walking to Warkworth in fading light - CC "Must remember that Dog Shit on the way back". Stuart: "Do you think that you'll still be hungry ?"