The Arrowgroup

Day One: Tuesday 23rd June - The Pilgrimage begins

This year's trip was noticeable for the incredible heat and temps of +30 degrees each day. Undaunted by threats by the weathermen and media of instant immolation each day and to hide deep underground the lads set off from their respective mansions (fine, detached houses) and immediately demonstrate peak masculinity by having breakfast at McDonald’s. After arriving in Weston, they inspect Holly Lodge, which turns out to be… well… a building. With walls. And “character.”

They walk to the Red Admiral, mainly because it’s coolish inside and they’re melting like cheap ice lollies. Mike arrives via Ani Taxi, is put on the doorstep, and rooms are chosen with the diplomacy of a UN summit. The usual Tesco shopping run completed, getting things nobody will have the time or inclination to eat and DSA begins (translation: lying down on beds doing nothing. Nothing at all..).

Dinner becomes a pub crawl disguised as “finding an eatery.” England draw 0–0 with Ghana, which pairs nicely with the group’s energy level: also 0. Everyone collapses from heat exhaustion and possibly too much Guinness and Butt Cum bravado. It's worth noting that this year was the first time map location was turned on so adoring fans could follow us on our journey through Somerset.

Day Two: Wednesday 24th June - Wells, Culture, and Competitive Golf

Breakfast again was had at Wetherspoons, because tradition matters. A lot. They head to Wells, and en-route they pass through a village called 'Mark'. "Drive carefully through Mark" says Mark, trying to be amusing.

At Wells they pretend to be cultured by visiting the Cathedral and drinking Costa coffee like sophisticated pilgrims, and also because it had air-con. Sort of. Waiting outside the gift shop, and Mark has just bought another hat pin. There is no room on the hat, but when questioned Mark says he will put it on the top. Surely not said Chris, that would look tacky. There is stifled laughing from the rest of the group. Would you like a punch in the Cloisters was what Mark was thinking. Although it was Stuart that actually opined that phrase.

A drive back to Weston after walking around Wells getting even hotter results in a session of Glow‑in‑the‑dark mini golf, where Chris wins and everyone else pretends they don’t care.

Back home, DSA starts early because the weather is “too weather‑y. And hot..” Dinner is an Italian affair, proving they are committed athletes in the sport of pasta eating. Scotland lose 3–0 to Brazil, which pairs nicely with cheese, biscuits, wine, and Baileys — the official drink of “we’re not staying up for the second half.”

Day Three: Thursday 25th June - Caves, Clevedon & Chaos

Up at 8 as usual and it's Wetherspoons breakfast again, because at this point they’re basically shareholders. Afterwards it's a drive over to Wookey Hole. On the way there they are following a classic MG car with an indicator light that was on all the time. 'Over 50 years old and not working'. 'Sounds like the Arrowgroup' says Mike..On arrival they take a tour of Wookey Hole Caves, learning that caves are dark and damp — shocking. But as the temperature inside them is a lovely 11.5 degrees it was welcome relief from the 35° heat outside. It was all rather good value and the best bit was that the parking was free.

Back and Clevedon is next: coffee, pier, and pretending to be seaside gentlemen. It was a nice pier. All lovely and nice. Back at Holly Lodge, DSA resumes (of course).

Went out for dinner which includes Chinese food and sitting outside the Red Admiral waiting for a storm to clear the humidity. Which didn't come till 1:30am when we were in bed. Two ambulances arrive at the pub, which is the most excitement Weston has seen all week. Loud cars cruise by, people exhibit themselves, and the group wisely heads home early before becoming part of the entertainment.

Day Four: Friday 26th June - Tor, Guitars & Pier Adventures

Yep, it's Wetherspoons breakfast again — at this point it’s a cult. Glastonbury seemed a nice place to head for. They climb Glastonbury Tor, spend 17 minutes at the top (because that’s the exact scientifically optimal time), then descend like heroic mountaineers. In the 30+ degrees heat. Glastonbury village itself is known for Vegans and Earth mothers. There are various comments like Eat a Hedgerow, Try my crystal and buy a Ravens Claw - it will give you protection. Cake and soft drinks follow, and Mike buys a guitar, presumably to start a folk band called “The DSA Boys.”

Back in Weston, they visit the Grand Pier for drinks and ice cream, because they earned it by walking slightly uphill earlier. Dinner is an Indian meal. One thing as a universal constant is that Mark will always, I mean always have a Korma. Mild slurry, to quote a Quote God, is very real.

They continued on their way after that, ending at the Red Admiral, because it’s basically their second home. Outside at the Red Admiral, a mature lady who had earlier found us a bench to sit on outside, showed us a 'local tradition'. That is to take your own drink, step into the road, and then pour it over your own head. She finished off in a dog style of shaking her head to spray it off. Well, it has been hot this week so why not? They finish the night by consuming the last of the food and drink like Vikings celebrating a successful raid.

Day Five: Saturday 28th June - Farewell Tour & Cotswold Classiness

Up, and in a change to the advertised program, the group shuffle down the road to breakfast at The Copper Kettle, because it’s closer and they’ve finally broken free from the Wetherspoons breakfast force field.. Packing commences, and cleaners arrive to erase all evidence of the Arrowgroup’s existence, and Mike is whisked away by Ani Taxi like a VIP.

They head to Broadway, a village so picturesque it makes Holly Lodge look like a shed. A walk up and down and lunch at the Swan Inn, then off to Broadway Tower, a folly built in the late 18th century. This was the brainchild of Capability Brown, where they refuse to pay for anything there except parking — a bold financial strategy. They ignore the bomb shelter and museum entirely, because learning is optional. Final snacks at Morris & Brown Café, then the return journey home begins.

Drop‑offs are made, and the Arrowgroup disperses back into society, leaving Weston slightly confused but mostly relieved.